Unlucky Bastard: Encounter with Psycho Girl # 2

A little scarred by his first eHarmony experience involving a drunk stalker and the police involved (read more here), Unlucky Bastard persevered, and the following weekend attempted his next eHarmony date. Again, he went out with a nice enough, wholesome, seemingly normal girl. They had an okay but unexceptionable night, no fluttering or beating hearts, no lingering kiss goodnight.

The next day, he received a photo of (now) Psycho Date no 2 in her bikini. What the?  This was totally out of character from what he knew so far. Then appeared a photo of Psycho Date no 2’s bikinied torso, without her head (she didn’t quite look like the girl below but you get the idea). In  Australia, we call someone a prawn if they have a great body but a disposable face. But portraying yourself this way? He was pretty weirded out, and as is his fashion, ignored all further texts and communication attempts.

This poor guy needs a normal date, can anyone help out?

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Unlucky Bastard: Encounter with Psycho Girl # 1

Guys have tales to tell too of course.

A male friend told of a mate’s first attempts of dating on eHarmony.  He met up with a girl, and after two nice but nondescript dates, decided he could live without seeing her again. As you do. Unfortunately, he failed to communicate that to her.

The next night, Unlucky Bastard had a bunch of mates over to his place for drinks. Around midnight, as he was seeing his mates out the door, he noticed his date’s car outside. There were two problems with this. Problem no 1 – he had not invited her to his house. Problem no 2 – he had never given her his address. In the tradition of true Aussie mateship, the boys sensed trouble and fled, leaving their buddy alone to deal with his psycho stalker date.

shutterstock_136738280For the next three hours, Psycho Date rang his doorbell in ten minute intervals, retreating to her car in between rings, while Unlucky Bastard pretended he wasn’t home. Finally, at 3am, Unlucky Bastard called the police. Psycho Date’s blood alcohol levels were off the charts, she was charged for drink driving, taken away, and spent the rest of the night in lockup. The next day Unlucky Bastard received a number of “You f*cker! How could you call the police!” text rants before life settled back to “normal”. Despite the events of the weekend, and zero replies from Unlucky Bastard, Psycho Date sent multiple chatty texts per day about what was going on, acting as if they were somehow in a relationship. 

Too polite (or nervous) to end it, the protocol of zero communication from Unlucky Bastard continued for at least a week, as did the texts. As far as I know, she’s still texting him.