No lame excuses.

Well what makes that one person unique, ?
We dont know unless you have had the pleasure of meeting such people in person not via a computer or phone,
Im 33 brown hair blue eyes little on the bigger side since i quit smoking.
Im just looking for someone who will drop everything to go camping or fishing or a drive and not give lame excuses.
even just invite me over for a beer I’ll be happy with that.

Purple Frock: Is “It’s not at all my thing?” a lame excuse?  And sorry, I’m not going to invite a random dude over for a beer. Methinks he needs a bromance, not a girlfriend. 

Fishing at sunset on the Donegal coast (© John Rafferty Photography)

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This week’s worst pick up lines

Opening email:  Hi I make beautiful kids and I love the practice:-)  (Guess I asked for it by talking about family in my profile?)

At a reunion rock gig:   “Isn’t it great to be middle-aged at a gig and not be the oldest ones there?”  (Erm…did you just infer that I’m middle aged? Not a good start!)

Opening email:  “Hi, would you be interested in someone my age? x”  (He has graduated from high school, earns 60-70k, and is 18 years of age. God, I have become an older woman fantasy for some pimply young guy.)

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Manchild.

He was really hot.

Lean, designer stubble, fantastic smile. He reminded me of someone from my past, of a similar vintage and similarly gorgeous. Would I like to meet him at the David Lynch exhibition at GOMA? It was a no-brainer. Cute, artistic, and likes hanging out at GOMA! Sweet!

The Manchild smelt strongly of cigarettes and… was that beer breath? At midday on a school day? We ignored the exhibition, and proceeded straight to hot chips and Little Creatures beers. As I had guessed, it wasn’t his first for the day. More alarm bells rang soon after. He was nearly fifty, “between jobs”, and undecided whether he would open his own craft beer brewery (possibly an alcoholic?) go to Japan to teach English (young Japanese girl fetish?), or do an extensive road trip in the US to delay resuming his successful career as a research scientist (with what money?).

 Things got weird when I mentioned the band I perform with. Turns out, he had dated a girl who was good friends with someone in that same band who sounded a lot like me.  It is Brisbane, but it was still weird that  I was friends with his ex.  When prodded, he dismissed it as “just a few dates”. Things got weirder when he pre-empted my specialist niche work which no one knows about, and we realised we had already met at his ex’s birthday party. After more nudging on my part, my friend of fifteen years was revealed as the “Just a Few Dates” girl. It was all I could do not to pretend to go to the bathroom and call my friend for a full download on the Manchild; my mind raced over past conversations which might save me time and heartbreak.

As soon as the beers had disappeared and it was polite to leave, I squirmed out of a squishy embrace and immediately contacted my friend. Sure enough, they had been in a relationship for nearly a year, not “just a few dates”. My friend, now happily loved up with her first child, didn’t want to colour my perception of the Manchild. She agreed with my first impression though – very unsettled, restless, not grown up, definitely not relationship material, let alone life partner potential. Later, I learned he has bipolar, and rather than seeking help, responds by insisting that others have mental health issues, to the point that they start questioning themselves. 

The Purple Frock even five years ago may have succumbed to his charm, but thank goodness I have learnt a little  over the years.  At the top of my new list of deal breakers stands no addiction, and no (untreated) mental illness.

Beware of the Manchild! Delete. But thanks for the chips, they were REALLY good.

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